Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Jab tak hai jaan fiasco!

Well it was the most awaited movie of Bollywood in this Diwali, ‘’Jab tak hai jaan’’. It is not an easy task to make such a ridiculous movie. It can happen either you are pro in making such a baffling movie or you think that the audience is dumb enough to accept it. I will go with latter, although I can with former also but it may hurt the ’’ romantic’’ community which worship Yash Chopra. Nevertheless even the latter one seems quite valid as it is based on the premise that if you can like ‘’Rab ne bana di jodi’’ then you can like any stupid movie.
Let’s discuss the movie. It starts in Leh and within few minutes it reaches at the place where Phunsuk wangdu a.k.a Aamir Khan has kissed Karina Kapoor in 3 Idiots. Unexpectedly we find a very sexy girl (Anushka Sharma) wearing little more than what we usually see her in our imagination jumps from a small cliff into the Pangong lake at Indo-Sino border and starts screaming for help as she found the water was very cold. The very first thing that came to mind was how she reached the cliff which was indeed away from shore and certainly she would have known that the water was very cold. Finally she was saved by SRK who happens to be major. Throughout the movie SRK was shown riding a royal enfield with luggage packed at the back of his bike. In what universe does a Major always carries his luggage? :D Now beat this, before joining Indian Army SRK worked as labour and waiter in London. He even begged on the streets of London by singing Punjabi songs. Well again the question arises how can a person doing such menial works without any qualification goes back to India and joins Indian army? How could he have cleared SSB? He later on becomes proficient in Bomb disposal and an equally good in repairing electronics items whose parts were unavailable!
The movie has only one good part which contains Katrina’s dance. As far as her acting is concerned I think even a porn actress can give a better expression than her. Throughout the movie she dons mini skirt in the snowy weather of London while his counterpart SRK shivers even after wearing an overcoat! Hold your breath there is more to come. Katrina is Punjabi and she is never seen in gurudwara rather she is always seen in church! Not only this when SRK ask her to marry him she wears a red sari comes to church! The most emotional scene is when she explains SRK that her mother eloped with someone when she was 12! Now tell will u cry or laugh at this scene? :D And one funniest thing is that Katrina is university topper! Can u believe it? LOL. In that case I am the Batman not Bruce wayne!
The whole movie is based on the premise that Katrina’s promises God (Jesus) something and she breaks that promise. Eventually she believes that God punishes her by putting SRK in trouble! I have no reason to doubt that Richard Dawkins (Evolutionary Scientist and author of The GOD delusion) would have lamented if he would have seen the movie. Above all the irony is that she believes all these nonsense and she happens to be university topper!
Coming back to Major Summer (SRK), whenever he diffuses bomb there are two soldiers with sniper and marching to and fro! Dear lord, how can one think of marching soldier with sniper! Apart from this, at LOC where SRK was disposing a bomb and to your surprise other than the two soldiers holding snipers you will find two havaldars holding stick! Haha. Hats off to Yash Chopra how can someone think so silly?
Seriously this movie can create paradigm shift in friendship. Its high time to unfriend such people who liked this movie. It may be hard for you to do but dude this is the litmus test of height of stupidity!