Remembering grandpa...

i was in 10th std when i last saw my grandpa. i get nostalgic if i remember those days. it was a very harsh time for me as i couldn't meet my ailing grandpaa. i decided to meet him immediately after i finish my board exam. he asked my dad to perform sacred thread ceremony as soon as my exams were over. he was looking forward to attend that ceremony.
but god had stored something else. probably god envy his happiness. he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. both dad n mom went to enquire about his health. nevertheless god was not satisfied with this situation. Suddenly my nani's (maternal grandmaa) health started deteriorating. it was one of the most troubled time in my life. nothing was going well not even my acads.
in the meantime grandpaa started recovering. but the recovery was very slow. he was almost counting days in terms of years.
it was by mid January around 9 :00 pm telephone rang and as my mom picked up the phone she was informed by mama that nani is no more. Suddenly our house was captivated by sorrow and remorse. hearing the news neighbour started pouring in the house. I was appearing in pre board at that time. i was feeling very sorry that in this difficult times i cannot accompany my mom. she left for gorakhpur the very next day unaware of the fact that God is not at all satisfied with this loss and wants some more loss.
mom came back from funeral by the 1st week of feb. she promised grandpaa that everything will be alright and she will perform sacred thread ceremony once my exams are over. he enquired about me. mom told him that my exams were going on that is why he couldn't come.
It was mid night of 26 feb 2005 that again that bloody phone rang. Dad was informed over phone that my grandpaa passed away. with hardly a week left in my board exam so it was not possible for me to go. i was cursing myself for not being able to visit there. For about 10 days i was in my mama' house. i promised myself that i ll perform well in board exam and make my grandpaa proud of myself. with his blessing it happened.....
Still i can see him in my dreams. Nevertheless, till today i regret for not meeting him when he was ailing.........

may his soul rest in peace.....